


Honey Bunny

by smallblip



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Diners, Established Relationship, F/M, Modern Era, one mention of sex, they're chatting and having a good time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27387343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallblip/pseuds/smallblip
Summary: Hanji and Levi have breakfast at a diner. They find themselves in a bit of a situation-"We have you surrounded! I repeat! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands in the air!"“Tch... Too goddamn loud for the morning...”
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Honey Bunny

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired in part by Pulp Fiction and incidents at The Diner. Title is from there too. Let me know if this made you smile :D  
> Or say hi on Tumblr! smallblip.tumblr.com

“And so.... I politely asked him to suck on my fat dick.”

“You really said that?”

“Yeah... Not really a big win for me considering he’s only humiliated because he lost his balls to a girl...”

Levi snorts. _Shitstain of a man_ , he adds, and Hanji beams at him.

“Anywho... Can you remember that song I said I liked... We danced to it at the pub. This was before you went to the toilet and that whole debacle with shitstain of a man happened...”

“I don’t remember...” Levi folds the napkin and sets it back down on the table. Hanji is pouting, disappointed.

“I honestly don’t remember much besides him yelling at you, then the look on his face after you kissed his girl. Somehow that left a bigger impression.” Levi replies with snark.

Hanji laughs, justifiably pleased with herself. “She enjoyed it though...” Levi knows. What’s there not to enjoy. Hanji takes a sip of her coffee and makes a face. “Levi, try this... It’s the worst coffee I’ve ever tasted... And I’m not a person with any standards...”

Levi hates coffee. Even a cup of the gourmet stuff (or at least that’s what the label had said) had failed to impress him. So he doesn’t know why he relents and takes a sip. “Tastes like dick...” he nearly spits it out and Hanji cackles.

“Wanna go somewhere else that doesn’t have shit coffee?” Levi asks. Hanji looks out the windows, at the flashes of red and blue and the glare of floodlights. The diner has found itself in a bit of a situation- on the business end of the guns in the hands of the boys in blue. It’ll be hard to navigate round. It’s an inconvenience really.

“Hmmm... Sounds like too much trouble...” Hanji drawls, “besides... I can’t complain about the pancakes.”

“The service leaves much to be desired though...” Levi quips, eyes rolling to glare at the empty spot behind the counter. He can hear whimpering from where the waiters are ducked, knees pulled close to bodies, shaking like leaves. He might have to help himself with the refills later on.

Hanji stares absentmindedly out the window when she hears a crackle from the loud hailer. “Here we go again...” she mutters under her breath.

"Levi Ackerman! Hans Zoë! We have you surrounded! I repeat! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands in the air!"

“Tch... Too goddamn loud for the morning...” Levi says, annoyed, but he doesn’t shift his gaze from Hanji.

“It’s _Hanji_ Zoë... What- Why do they- Ugh... They can never get it right?” Hanji throws her hands up in a show of exasperation.

“I’ll make sure to tell them on the way out.” Levi chaffs.

Hanji turns her attention back to him. “So... Considering our predicament... It might be a good time to reminisce... You wanna start cowboy?” She plays coy, resting her chin in her hands and batting her eyelashes at him. The sight of Hanji like this always tickles him. But it also makes him want to take her to a motel and screw the living daylights out of her. And yet, his face gives nothing away, save for a slight tug at the corners of his lips. Hanji notices. She eases back into her chair, putting on a show for him by stretching long legs out toward him.

“Remember the day at the bank... When we first met?”

“Ah... How could I forget... Out of all the banks in the South side of town we had to pick the same one,” Hanji chuckles, “you hated my guts...”

“I lied... I was angry because I wanted to kiss you stupid right there and then.” Levi shrugs and stirs idly at his lukewarm cup of tea.

“Oh...” Hanji says, lips pursing. There’s a dust of pink high in her cheeks and suddenly she finds it hard to meet Levi’s searing gaze. “That was... Dammit Levi... That was actually really sweet... You’re making me look bad...”

“Spit it out four eyes.”

“I was just gonna ask if you remember the time we had that fight about me forgetting to take the bins out?”

“And you freaked the fuck out and went berserk?” Levi supplements.

“Yes... And I told you our bins weren’t empty because I saw the neighbours put their trash in them? Well... I lied... You were right... I just never took the bins out...”

“I know...”

“Then why did you apologise?”

Levi shrugs, “if you said you took the bins out, you took the bins out. You’ve stood up for me on far less...”

Hanji hums a reply, that she has. She presses her ankles against Levi under the table. “Tell you what... I’m going to walk over to you now and kiss you stupid. Right here. In front of all these strapping young officers. Then we’re going to stop with this sappy nonsense and talk business.”

Levi grunts a reply, sliding his chair out to give Hanji space. And in one long stride she’s sitting in his lap. Hanji keeps her promise and kisses him till they’re both gasping for air. All tongue slipping behind teeth and soft lips as practiced a million times before. She still feels the rush of adrenaline when Levi rests his hands on her hips, fingers digging into skin with possessive fervour. Her arms are thrown around his shoulders and she pulls him impossibly close. This feeling will never get old, she thinks. Like the thrill of a heist. They break apart and Hanji has a dopey smile on her face.

“Do you wanna talk business? Or you wanna continue staring?” Levi smirks and Hanji throws her head back to laugh.

“What do you say? What are our odds?” He says, drawing circles into the small of her back.

“Hmmm...” Hanji scans the windows. She loses count on the number of shaking fingers precariously gripping triggers. “If we’re just talking numbers... Not looking too good...”

“Well they can all- What did you say? Suck on a fat dick?”

Hanji laughs, _yeah..._ she says, a little breathless when Levi reaches to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. God does she love him.

“If we survive this, Levi Ackerman... Mark my words, I’ll make an honest man of you...” There’s a sparkle in Hanji’s eyes and Levi can’t help but return her smile. He deliberates debating the concept of an honest man, after all, they are far from honest people. Levi also has lots to say about the concept of “ride or die” too, considering he’s not one to prefer dying to be on the cards. Their skillset and expertise have not particularly allowed for glorified visions of going out with a bang, they always make it, and it's not luck either. It’s better to be alive, live to love another day. But it’s all petty semantics.

Because he sees the gleam in Hanji’s eyes- audacious, but far from ill-advised and he smiles, an ease consumes him. Whilst not preferable, dying with Hanji by his side isn’t too bad an idea. But Levi remembers it’s Hanji’s turn to clean the house and it would be unfair on him if they die today, considering how he’s been the one cleaning the past three times. He’s not going all soft when she whines this time. This time she’ll be the one cleaning for sure.

Semantics can go to hell.

“I’ll hold you to it, Hanji Zoë...” he whispers as he kisses her chin where he can reach. Levi pats Hanji’s thigh as he shifts to stand. His hands already on the holsters of his guns. She cocks her pistols, this isn’t anything they haven’t done before. And Hanji thinks the odds are still up in the air, it’s a little premature for visions of a glorified death. Besides the chicken in the fridge will go bad if they don’t have it by today. A good roast sounds perfect for dinner. They can have it with that bottle of wine they’ve been saving.

She sets her eyes on the targets and counts them off again in her head. She watches them with interest as they squirm in their boots. Hanji cracks her neck and shakes her knots loose.

Hanji freezes suddenly, “wait Levi...” she says with urgency, “I just got it!”

“No don’t-“ but before Levi can stop her, she’s already humming it- the song they had danced to at the pub. Hanji sways along to the tune. Levi clenches his fist and taps it against his forehead. Why does he have to love her so goddamn much.

“Do you know the name of the song? It’s absolutely killing me!”

“Hanji... I don’t know the name of any song...” Levi squeezes his eyes shut and rubs at his temples. “Great... Now it’s stuck in my head too...” he mutters through grit teeth. They walk toward the entrance of the diner.

Hanji grins. “Ready Levi?”

He nods, smiling at her once more for good luck.

_“Let’s fuck shit up.”_

**Author's Note:**

> MUSIC CUE: "Misirlou" by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones


End file.
